What “Voice” Did You Put Inside Your Child’s Head Today?

What “Voice” Did You Put Inside Your Child’s Head Today?
March 9, 2015 Matthew L. Jacobson

matthewljacobson-com_boythinkingThe Voice.

Every person has one – that internal message center that speaks nonstop into the mind and heart, informing the “listener” of who she is, what he does, and what others think about him/her.

In the quiet moments of your child’s life, what are the thoughts he has about himself?

What does the voice inside your child’s head say?

You are a worthwhile person

You are lazy

You are smart

You are handsome

You are stupid

You are so careless

You are clumsy

You are ugly

You are a great helper

You are fun to be around

You’re a wimp

You are stubborn

You are needed in this family

You can’t do anything right

You’re really messy

The Voice inside your child’s head is constantly delivering messages. What is it saying?

The internal voice everyone hears is powerful. That power builds up or tears down. The internal voice defines a child’s self-perception and consequently, his/her life.

How did those voices get there?

Parents are often unaware of the power they wield in defining the self-perception their child develops. In powerful ways, the repeated messages spoken in childhood become “The Voice” inside a child’s head long into adulthood.

The “voice” inside a child’s head speaks powerfully into the heart of your child but that voice didn’t start out there.

At times, it’s amazing how carless, insensitive, and unwise we can be as parents, commenting on some negative behavior to a child or to a third party in the child’s presence.


Not long ago, I heard a parent of a toddler declare in the child’s presence, “He is just really stubborn.” It wasn’t the first time I had heard that and other similar statements.

Like any message repeatedly delivered to the heart of a child, it will become the dominant reality – the narrative – that child lives in.

I’m just stubborn. It’s what I do. It’s who I am.

Words matter so much.

And those little boys & girls . . . they’re really attentive, even when it seems like they aren’t listening. What they hear repeatedly, eventually they believe about themselves. The tape – that message – The Voice plays over and over again.

Dad & Mom, what “Voice” will you be placing in your child’s head tomorrow, through the messages you are speaking to his/her heart today?

If you would benefit from some suggestions on positive messages to speak into the life of your child, Click Here for a list of positive affirmations every child wants to hear.


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  1. Thank you so much for your words of wisdom, Matthew.

    I have been thinking about this very topic all week as I have been substitute teaching at our local Christian school. As parents (and as teachers), we can make or break our kids with our words. May they always be seasoned with grace, love, and wisdom.

    Blessings to you and yours.

  2. Lisa 3 years ago

    How I would have loved to hear some of these growing up! Instead I had numbers 2, 5,6,7,8, 11, 14, and 15 implied constantly. And my father several months ago implied that I’m not worth anything to him. I’m sorry. I just wish that I would have heard the good things on this list instead of the insulting ones.

    • Matthew Jacobson 3 years ago

      As the old hymn says, God will sanctify to us our deepest distress. I pray you have found His Grace for this sin you’ve had to endure.

  3. Angie Summers 3 years ago

    One of my biggest struggles is getting after my kids in the morning right before school. I hate it and I don’t ever intend to do it but it seems to happen too often. I always tell them I love them as they head out but it still hurts both of us. I want to do better and I appreciate the reminder today to pay attention to this. Thank you Lord for using Matthew to convict me today. I’m so sorry for my insensitive and hurtful words. I owe my daughter an apology as soon as I see her this afternoon.

  4. Kathryn 3 years ago

    Thank you very much for this!

    This resonates with me. Just earlier I lost my patience with one of my sons, who seems to be so careless often times. I should have handled the situation differently, and your article really helps me to visualize how negatively (or positively!) my words will affect him.

    As an adult, I have sought out professional Christian counseling due to the negativity of “The Voice” in my head. It’s amazing how those things resonate and reproduce.

    Thank you for the wise words and the inspiration. I’m very grateful.

    Blessings to you and your family! I follow your lovely wife’s blog; what a wise gem she is.

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