Hello. Maybe we’ve never met formally but, you’ve bumped into me a time or two. In fact, you can’t avoid me because I’m everywhere. My name is 21st Century Culture and I’ve got a lot to say to a lot of different people but let me start with what I like to say to wives and mothers.
I’m disciplined and consistent . . . this is the stuff I say to women every single day:
Hey, it’s me again, 21st Century Culture, remember, the one who defines who you are and establishes your personal worth?
Frankly, girl, you don’t measure up to much of anything that’s important. Seriously, what is your real worth, anyway? All that work around the house to keep it clean and nice . . . whatever! First of all, you’re doing a terrible job but, it’s worse than that . . . managing your home is a total waste of time. You could have had a meaningful life. You could have accomplished something. Instead, you’ve been duped into looking after a home and raising kids. Can I just be blunt? YOU ARE WASTING YOUR LIFE! It’s sad, really. And even if you are working and helping pay the bills, you know you’re neglecting your home and family. You see . . . you can’t win.
Now, when it comes to your looks . . . well, let’s keep it real. You’re just not that pretty, are you? I’m not being mean – just truthful. The years haven’t been very kind to you. You’re looking old and tired – haggard, even, not to mention those extra pounds.
It’s evident to your husband and everyone else, just saying, that you and your sex-appeal had a falling-out a long time ago and, from where I’m sitting . . . it’s not coming back any time soon so, do yourself a favor. I suggest either giving up in that department or desperately searching for the validation your husband doesn’t think your worthy of.
RELAX! I’m not picking on you – that’s what I tell every woman all the time. And, trust me, I’ve been thorough so, no matter where you go – the mall, the gym, the beach, to church, the park – you’ll encounter my consistent basic message: You don’t measure up and your value is, well, pretty low.
Even though I’m usually very successful with my messaging, I’ve got my problems. Ever heard of The Indispensable Husband? He’s nothing but trouble. When this guy shows up, his wife starts letting go of my reality and all my hard work goes up in flames.
You know who he is . . . he’s the guy who comes home and the first thing he does is look for his wife so he can tell her he loves her, missed her, how beautiful she is and how much he appreciates all she does. This guy is sick. He’s not doing this because he thinks he should, from some sense of duty. He really means it. This guy makes his wife feel like a queen by simple, loving deeds, kind words, and sincere admiration. He loves her for who she is and puts her needs above his.
A husband like that is a one man wrecking ball, destroying everything I’m trying to build.
But I’m 21st Century Culture. I speak with a powerful voice and I’m not that worried. My position and the power of my message are basically secure because, the fact is, most husbands and, what really makes me happy, most Christian husbands, make my job easy. The Indispensable Husband almost never shows up! I have to admit, though, when he does, it’s amazing how much damage he can do in a very short time.
Truth is, I may be 21st Century Culture but I’m no match for the Indispensable Husband. His wife won’t listen to a thing I have to say. I get nightmares just thinking of what would happen if the average Christian husband followed his example – if he knew the power he has to destroy my life’s work and make his wife understand she has real value and is truly loved and respected. I hate to think what would happen in most marriages.
Christian Husband, the voice of 21st Century Culture is hell-bent on tearing down your wife. But your voice and influence in her heart is far more powerful. Will you use it God’s way and for her, be The Indispensable Husband?
Here are three resources to help you do just that:
Two Powerful, Practical New Books: Marriage Wisdom for Him & Marriage Wisdom for Her. Get a copy and see positive change flood into your marriage!
Matt Jacobson is the founder of FaithfulMan.com a biblical marriage, parenting, and discipleship ministry providing written and audio teaching, as well as couples marriage coaching. He is the co-host (with his wife, Lisa) of Faithful Life Podcast and is author of the bestseller, 100 Ways to Love Your Wife. Matt is pastor of Tumalo Bible Fellowship and is married to Lisa, founder of Club31Women.com (they have 8 kids!).