Marriage is supposed to be a safe place, somewhere you can relax and just be yourself – completely accepted – without the fear of being poorly thought of, misunderstood, or regularly criticized.
Close, loving, comfortable . . . and safe. Does this describe your marriage? If so, congratulations! It’s awesome, isn’t it! But, I can already hear another answer coming from many of you . . . “Not quite.” You’re missing out on so much of what marriage can be – so much of what it was intended for.
Even in many seemingly good, stable marriages hearts are not unified and you often find yourself in a state of criticism and tension. Maybe it’s coming from your husband, maybe your wife or, more likely – you’re both making regular contributions to the lack of peace in your home.
The reality of living with your spouse and coming to know him/her well is that you have inside knowledge of every shortcoming, failing, and inadequacy. You know all the flaws. Question is: What are you doing about them? What are you saying about them? And then there’s all that powerful non-verbal body language. What is it saying to your spouse about all the ways she doesn’t measure up? All the little ways he keeps failing? Have you become negative, frustrated, and constantly critical? Or, perhaps you’re just trying to help. Maybe you mention these flaws regularly because you see so much that needs improvement.
The thing about seeing is that we see what we look at. We see what we focus on. Not exactly a profound insight but it is vital when it comes to your marriage. What are you focusing on? If you spend all your time focusing on your spouse’s flat sides and flaws, you’ll never have time to look at something else that is vital to growing as a person and having a beautiful marriage.
You’ll never look in the mirror. You’ll never take the time to evaluate your own need for growth, change, improvement, and maturity. In the Word is a strong warning against regularly thinking of and pointing out the flaws in another person (your spouse!) but failing to look at your own and that’s the subject of the podcast today. How do you get from tension to peace? Do you want a great Marriage Weekend together? There is hope! Just click the latest episode and join the conversation!
Do you want to build positive communication patterns in your marriage? Speaking words of Affirmation into your husbands/wife’s heart each day is a beautiful way to communicate in every marriage! These books are available right now!
We hope both of these books — 100 Words of Affirmation Your Husband Needs to Hearand 100 Words of Affirmation Your Wife Needs to Hear (sold separately, or together as a bundle!) — will encourage and inspire your own relationship with your spouse.
Our new books aren’t just theory but show how we “do” marriage. These books are, literally, a window into the relationship we have and how we walk out our marriage, day-to-day. These new books are designed to encourage and equip you in your own marriage.
Every one of us has tremendous power to either build others up or tear them down through the words we speak every day, and nowhere is this more evident than in our marriages.
Are you being purposeful in how you use the power of your words to speak encouragement, strength, and love–breathing life into the heart of your spouse? Or are careless words having a negative impact on your marriage and on the heart of the one you love most?
We want you and your spouse to discover the powerful ways you can build one another up in love with the words that you choose to say every day–words that every husband and wife need to hear. These marriage books offer you 100 Things to say to your husband or wife that deeply encourage, affirm, and inspire.
Start speaking these words into each other’s lives and watch your spouse – and your relationship – transform before your eyes! Get your copies right here – 100 Words of Affirmation Bundle
Matt Jacobson is a biblical marriage coach and founder of FaithfulMan.com a biblical marriage, parenting, and discipleship ministry providing written and audio teaching, as well as couples marriage coaching. He is the co-host (with his wife, Lisa) of Faithful Life Podcast and is author of the bestseller, 100 Ways to Love Your Wife. Matt is pastor of Tumalo Bible Fellowship and is married to Lisa, founder of Club31Women.com (they have 8 kids!).