In This Together: how to win against pornography in your marriage

One drive by the “Victoria doesn’t have any Secrets” store will tell you that the world has changed.

But, we don’t need to be told (or look at the soft porn on display in their windows). We just need to turn on our computers and the satanic inspired on-demand world of pornography is one click away, in the privacy of our own homes.

It’s everywhere and it’s coming to a computer screen near you – if you don’t go and find it first.

Satan’s grip on Christian men and women – yes, women – through porn is as common and powerful as it is tragic. Not a week goes by that we don’t receive letters from readers telling how this sin is tearing apart their relationships.

Is this where you are, or where someone you know is living? Maybe your marriage has been strong, and you’ve not yielded to temptation. That’s fantastic but there is something I’d like to share today with you, too.

The time to act is right now. Don’t put off dealing with this because porn is just like strep throat. In the beginning, strep seems like a minor cold but it grows stronger by the day. Left untreated it’s a one-way ticket to the grave. What started out as something seemingly minor eventually poisons the blood and kills the infected person. Porn is the same. No big deal, at first . . . “It’s just a little” . . . that voice will tell you. But the poison will do – is doing – its work.

Satan’s plan through porn is to destroy you utterly for this life (devastated relationships and disqualification for ministry) and for the next (eternal separation from God).

I want to share with you a simple strategy to help you do what the Bible urges everyone to do who finds themselves in the throes of temptation: Resist the devil (and he will flee from you).

How do you resist? How do you protect your marriage and say “no” to what you’ve given in to for so long?

First of all, let’s get something straight. Sin does not have power over you. Period. If you are a believer, you are not under sin’s grip. The only power sin has over you is the power you ascribe to it. Reality for the believer is that sin and death have been swallowed up in the victory of the cross and resurrection of Jesus Christ.

But . . . What you believe will define how you fight, regardless of the actual truth.

If an elephant has been staked to the ground from birth with a powerful chain it cannot break, by the time it is full grown, a small cord is enough to hold it. That powerful animal will never challenge the strength of the cord because he believes in the power of his original bondage. What he believes defines how he acts.

We can be just like that elephant, believing in the power of sin in our lives even after that power has been utterly broken. If we think wrong, we’ll never live strong. You are free. Claim your freedom from sin and walk in it.

Second, resist! The Bible says, “Resist the devil and he will flee from you.” James 4:7. Even Jesus didn’t get a pass here. Satan only left Him after He had resisted him.

You are called to resist. That means the exercise of your will to say “no” to the impulse to sin. This is far easier when we tell ourselves, and believe the truth, about sin’s broken power. You already have the victory. Walk in it. Resist your enemy. Don’t give in. And with each spiritual victory (it’s a spiritual war played out in the physical realm, Ephesians 6) you’ll feel your spiritual maturity and strength increase.

The Bible puts it this way, “In all these things, we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.” Romans 8:37 You’re not merely a conqueror. You are more than a conqueror!

Okay, are you ready for a big step? Satan hates light. Are you serious about victory? Are you ready to shine the light of openness on formerly hidden, darkened corners of your life?

It’s time to institute the “ZERO PRIVACY POLICY”

Here’s how it works: Eliminate privacy. It’s that simple.

Some time ago, I told Lisa and our children that they may sit at my desk at any time, without asking or reference to me and review any or all of the history on my computers (except for sensitive ministry communications and other people’s private information). They have full, unfettered, unfiltered access.

But, why stop there? I have also given all of the men in the Church I help lead the exact same access as Lisa and our children have.

I have, literally, no online privacy of any kind and it’s . . . awesome!

Man or woman, husband or wife, I strongly encourage you to do the same. Shine the light. Believe what is true, resist in temptation, and institute the “ZERO PRIVACY POLICY”.

~Matthew