Having children can be very rewarding but, as every parent knows, parenthood is tough. And, being a good parent is even harder because after the wonder of birth and cooing at the newborn, what you have is an infinitely valuable and important endeavor that requires nothing less than dying to yourself.
And we hate that, don’t we! Our flesh protests at every turn, but that won’t change the requirements of good parenting. It is because of the flesh (our selfish impulses, our sin nature, and our desire to seek our own interests and comfort) that parents so often let critical parenting moments pass without doing the hard work of training. It happens in moments like these . . .
Maybe you’re in the middle of a project, maybe you’re curled up on the couch reading a good book, or watching a show your really in to, and your child does something he wasn’t supposed to do – something you told him not to do . . . or . . . you’ve told your child to come and she ignores you . . . or . . . you’re attempting to correct your child and he pulls away from your hand, looking away, trying to get away instead of giving you his respectful focus and attention. Instead of ignoring the inconvenience and discomfort of dealing with your child, you let the moment pass so you can keep doing what you’re doing.
Sound familiar? Each one of these situations is a critical parenting moment. String them together and you have a week’s worth of child training, then a month, a year, and a life. However you handle these situations, you are training your child. Taking the wise approach, you’re training a respectful toddler to tween. Take the wrong approach, allowing the child to defy you, yet again, and you’re training rebellion, defiance, and disrespect into the heart of your child.
Many parents are either unaware they’re making the wrong choice in the moment, or they choose to avoid the inconvenience and embarrassment of dealing with it in real time. Both approaches lead to the same place – a destination that no parent wants for their child. The ironic reality about choosing to satisfy your flesh in such moments is that you’re also feeding your child’s flesh. In parenting, as in all of life, whatever you feed grows.
Anyone can become a parent but to be a good parent, a faithful parent, a parent who is raising a child to know and love the Lord, it takes a commitment to love your child by doing the hard work of training – the topic of faithful life podcast, this week. We invite you to join the conversation to be encouraged in the challenging but deeply rewarding endeavor of raising children who love and yield their hearts to Daddy and Mommy, and who are a delight to be around. And, please, share this podcast with someone you know it will encourage!
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Sometimes, life takes you to a place where you don’t know what to say . . .
Are you in a place where you need some deep encouragement?
New Book by Sheila Walsh.
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Matt Jacobson is a biblical marriage coach and founder of FaithfulMan.com a biblical marriage, parenting, and discipleship ministry providing written and audio teaching, as well as couples marriage coaching. He is the co-host (with his wife, Lisa) of Faithful Life Podcast and is author of the bestseller, 100 Ways to Love Your Wife. Matt is pastor of Tumalo Bible Fellowship and is married to Lisa, founder of Club31Women.com (they have 8 kids!).