How to Find and Marry the Perfect Woman – a letter to young men

How to Find and Marry the Perfect Woman – a letter to young men
July 26, 2016 Matthew L. Jacobson

Dear Son,

Every young man wants to marry someone amazing – the perfect woman. I’m sure you’ve spent a lot of time thinking about your future wife – just what kind of person you hope she is. And you’re not asking for much, right? Just someone who is,

  1. Loving
  2. Kind
  3. Beautiful
  4. Thoughtful
  5. Intelligent
  6. Hardworking
  7. Funny
  8. Gracious
  9. Strong
  10. A committed believer
  11. Loves to serve you
  12. Fiercely loyal
  13. Faithful
  14. Devoted to you
  15. And, you want her to be a virgin. You want her to have saved herself just for you, don’t you?

. . . just a few things like that, right? You’re actual list is probably a lot longer than this one . . . maybe even includes the color of her hair! She doesn’t have to walk on water like Jesus did but . . . it wouldn’t hurt, would it?

The fact is, when you think of your “dream girl” she’s downright amazing . . . she’s the perfect woman. Wow! To marry a woman like that would be awesome, wouldn’t it!

We can get pretty specific when it comes to what we hope for in a future wife, can’t we? But there’s something that is very easy to forget – something that’s super easy to pass over – when we dream of our wedding day with “Her”.

It’s perfectly normal to think through – dream about – what you desire in your wife but, I have a question for you. If this amazing woman were to show up tomorrow, what do you think she is looking for in a husband?

“Are you Living a Life Worthy of the Woman of your Dreams?”

Are you living a life worthy of the woman of your dreams? Are you living consistently with the standards that you have told yourself are important in the woman you’re looking for?

You’re looking for an amazing woman but, make no mistake, a woman like that is looking for an amazing man. How do you measure up to the standards you’ve set in your mind for her?

She wants these same qualities in her future husband just as intensely as you want them in your future wife.

And she is out there, right now, wondering where you are – wondering how you’re spending your time – wondering what you’re thinking. She’s hopeful, dreaming of the day the two of you will meet for the first time. Hoping you have been faithful to her. When you do lock eyes for the first time, what kind of man will she encounter? The answer to that question will  be the result of the choices and decisions you make long before you ever meet.

“The future husband you will become and the quality of your character is built one decision at a time.”

The future husband you will become and the quality of your character is built one decision at a time. In these years of preparing to be a husband, that’s where your focus should be, rather than on what someone else needs to do and be.

When it comes to personal character and marriage preparation, there’s no better place to start than the Word of God, the standard for everything that is right, good, and true.

I can guess what you’re thinking . . . “If that’s true, why are there so many bad marriages among Christians?”

The answer is simple – they either don’t know or don’t care what the Bible says. For those who do, there is a fantastic marriage waiting for every couple – every couple – who choose to order their married lives according to God’s Word.

Here are several verses for you to think about when considering becoming the man your dream girl hopes to marry, some day.

  1. Psalm 1. It’s only a few verses but power-packed with God’s Truth. Memorize it.
  2. Psalm 119:11 “Your Word have I hid in my heart that I might not sin against you.” In the day of His temptation, Jesus used the Word of God in battle. We can’t use it if we don’t own it. And here’s a great Scripture to own for battle . . .
  3. 1 Corinthians 10:13 “There is no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above what you are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that you may be able to bear it.” This means you can win, you can be a man of purity and character every time you face temptation.
  4. Read a verse or two from the Book of Proverbs every day. It’s filled with nuggets of wisdom, like these: Proverbs 6:16-19 “These six things does the LORD hate: yes, seven are an abomination to him: A proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood. A heart that devises wicked imaginations, feet that are swift in running to mischief, a false witness that speaks lies, and him who engenders discord among brothers.”
  5. Ephesians 5:25 “Husbands, love your wife, even as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for it;” Jesus laid down his life for the church. You, as a husband some day, are called to lay down your life for your wife – to become her selfless servant-leader.

Keep dreaming son, keep hoping. The Bible says God is a good Father who knows how to give good gifts. The gift of your wife is waiting for you and in God’s providence, she will be perfect for you.

She is out there looking for the day you will meet. But, in the mean time, be faithful in everything, preparing to be an amazing husband, worthy of the woman of your dreams.

Let me help you pursue the best marriage, family, and Christian life God intended.
When you subscribe, I'll send you my book, 10 Things You Won't Find in a Godly Marriage, free!
We respect your privacy.


  1. Very helpful and Great information,
    we appreciate advise especially coming from a professional.
    Thanks again and keep up the great work!

    • Author

      I’m not a “professional” just a man seeking to offer thoughts/ideas/widsom/teaching from a biblical perspective

  2. Stephanie Saunders 1 year ago

    Spot on! I’m one of those women waiting for the man God has for me… Thank you for giving sound advise to the men of my generation. This is exactly what they need to hear.

Leave a reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


Would you like my articles sent directly to your mobile device or inbox?

When you subscribe, I'll send you my book,
10 Things You Won't Find in a Godly Marriage, free!