Stop Doing This And Your Marriage Will Improve Immediately! (And So Will You!)

Marriage is supposed to be a safe place, somewhere you can relax and just be yourself – completely accepted – without the fear of being poorly thought of, misunderstood, or regularly criticized.

Close, loving, comfortable . . . and safe. Does this describe your marriage? If so, congratulations! It’s awesome, isn’t it! But, I can already hear another answer coming from many of you . . . “Not quite.” You’re missing out on so much of what marriage can be – so much of what it was intended for.

Even in many seemingly good, stable marriages hearts are not unified and you often find yourself in a state of criticism and tension. Maybe it’s coming from your husband, maybe your wife or, more likely – you’re both making regular contributions to the lack of peace in your home.

The reality of living with your spouse and coming to know him/her well is that you have inside knowledge of every shortcoming, failing, and inadequacy. You know all the flaws. Question is: What are you doing about them? What are you saying about them? And then there’s all that powerful non-verbal body language. What is it saying to your spouse about all the ways she doesn’t measure up? All the little ways he keeps failing? Have you become negative, frustrated, and constantly critical? Or, perhaps you’re just trying to help. Maybe you mention these flaws regularly because you see so much that needs improvement.

The thing about seeing is that we see what we look at. We see what we focus on. Not exactly a profound insight but it is vital when it comes to your marriage. What are you focusing on? If you spend all your time focusing on your spouse’s flat sides and flaws, you’ll never have time to look at something else that is vital to growing as a person and having a beautiful marriage.

You’ll never look in the mirror. You’ll never take the time to evaluate your own need for growth, change, improvement, and maturity. In the Word is a strong warning against regularly thinking of and pointing out the flaws in another person (your spouse!) but failing to look at your own and that’s the subject of the podcast today. How do you get from tension to peace? Do you want a great Marriage Weekend together? There is hope! Just click the latest episode and join the conversation!