If you had been there, you would have come to the same conclusion Lisa and I did: There’s one person in charge in this relationship, and it isn’t the husband! This poor guy was like some pale moon orbiting a giant planet. His wife dominated him, controlled him. She was really good at it, too! The reasons, arguments, and explanations for doing it all her way were endless. She even lead in family devotions. Over time, he became more quiet, more withdrawn . . . smaller, some how. It was sad to watch.
Of course, you would never diminish your husband by being controlling, would you? You don’t manipulate circumstances to get what you want! You’re just making a decision for what’s best. After all, you’re just trying to help, right?
“A controlling wife” . . . has a bit of an ugly ring to it, doesn’t it? No woman wants a reputation for being “controlling” in her marriage. Is this even a problem in marriages where two people claim to be following God and His Word? Yes, it is . . . and, as Lisa says, it is a far more pervasive reality than many wives want to admit.
When it comes to being controlling, where are you at?. . . not ‘What do you want to be true?’ but, where are you really at? Do you struggle with control? Are you a controlling wife? And, as the husband, what is your true perspective about the state of your relationship. Are you passive? Are you being manipulated and controlled? Do you lead?
The patterns we walk in can become so comfortable we don’t even realize how far we’ve deviated from the instruction in Scripture – how destructive we’ve become to our own marriage.
Just because you can run circles around your husband, doesn’t mean you should. Even if you have good intentions that lead to controlling doesn’t mean you’re not diminishing your husband. And then there are the husbands who just won’t lead, frustrating their wives to no end. How should Christian wives and husbands be thinking about these things? And what should the wife do when her husband won’t lead? This is the topic of today’s FAITHFUL LIFE podcast: Marriage Weekend Edition – Are You a Controlling Wife? Join us as we discuss how to avoid this marriage pitfall and the right path forward.
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