Are you quick to listen? Are you genuinely eager to hear your spouse share what is on her heart or is your marriage just another opportunity to insist that someone else listen to what you are determined to say? What does the way we communicate say about who we really are?
We don’t have to cast about for the best way to communicate. The Bible already tells us: Be quick to listen and slow to speak. (James 1:19) To enjoy the best of what God intends for our marriage, we need the Word of God in our lives. Our communication in marriage needs to be washed with the water of the Word.
But we’re often just the opposite, aren’t we? Why is that? Why are we so quick to insist that our spouse listen to what we have to say and so slow (impatient) to hear what is on his/her mind?
It’s not really that complicated. We just don’t like the answer: Pride. Being quick to speak and slow to listen reveals a lack of humility – a lack of obedience to God’s Word. The truth is, we love the sound of our own voices and are too confident in what we think we know, determined to speak while others listen. It’s just another way of making clear to your spouse how much you love yourself.
The times strife has found it’s way into Lisa’s and my marriage have nearly all been because of being quick to speak (insisting on being listened to) and slow to listen (uninterested in or impatient to listen).
Where is your marriage communication at, these days? Are you walking with each other according to the Word or have bad, negative (sinful!) patterns become the norm in your marriage? Getting into a destructive communication pattern can be so incremental we don’t even realize what we’re doing and we become comfortable with things that have no place in a loving, godly marriage. The good news is, changing doesn’t have to be incremental. You can make a positive change right now and move on to a deeper, more loving, God-honoring relationship, today. This is the topic of today’s podcast episode. Join the conversation and ask yourself: Am I quick to listen and slow to speak? Am I walking in respect and humility with the one I love?
