The wedding – great memories, a lot of fun – but, that was a long time ago. Now, there’s marriage.
An excellent, satisfying, rewarding marriage . . . sounds good, doesn’t it? It also sounds like an endangered species. Do you know many Christian couples enjoying one? Isn’t the Church supposed to provide the example for those who don’t know Jesus? It’s sad but even inside the Church, great marriages are pretty rare these days, aren’t they?
But, they don’t have to be – not for you and me. So, what does that rare couple enjoying the fantastic marriage have that so many can’t seem to find? Is this level of marriage only for the lucky few? No matter what their backgrounds or baggage, a rich and fulfilling marriage is available to every couple willing to take the road less traveled . . . the road away from selfishness.
To those who considered following Jesus, He put it like this, “If any man would be my disciple, let him deny himself, take up his cross daily, and follow me.”
Many claim to be His disciples. The cross is the instrument of the death of our flesh, our self-will. Are you His disciple when it comes to your marriage?
The best, richest marriages are enjoyed by couples of every age group who know a simple, yet all too often forgotten truth.
Great marriages are the result of husbands and wives making a lot of everyday choices that say, “I love you,” rather than choices that say, “I love me.”
It’s not that complicated, but it can be difficult because our flesh (when it’s not on that cross we were to take up daily) is naturally good at the “I love me” part. If we want a marriage worthy of the best love poet, country western singer, playwright, novelist, or the Song of Solomon, then we need to learn how to say, “I love you” through all the normal days of marriage we are given . . . yes, “given.” Your marriage is a gift, given to you by God. God gave you each other, and He gives you each day you are living together. How many of us have taken this gift for granted?
That’s the challenge, isn’t it . . . all those days? Valentine’s Day is only 1 out of 365. What about all those other days? They need to be filled with something, too, but most of us get caught up in the busyness of life and run out of ideas for keeping marriage fresh, rich and romantic.
Not long into marriage, I discovered that just because I was satisfied and happy didn’t mean Lisa was. I needed to learn and understand what every smart husband knows: continually filling your wife’s emotional reservoir through basic, simple acts of love and kindness is an ongoing endeavor. So, settle in for the long haul!
Big gestures between spouses on Valentine’s Day can be terrific but a great marriage goes far beyond a single day. And that kind of love pays amazing dividends because a loved woman – a cherished wife – is a giver, returning to her husband far more than he ever poured into her soul.
Every wife has a deep desire to be cherished but there’s far more to it than that. To be of supreme importance – to be truly valued by her husband – is not only her desire, it is her right before God.
Loving your wife deeply is your privilege, but it is also your God-given duty.
If your wife’s friends were asked the question about you, “Does he cherish his wife?” what would be the answer? How would your own woman answer? Does she feel cherished? To truly value her is to leave no doubt in anyone’s mind, especially hers. Of course, this line of questioning is for wives, too. Just change up the language a little, does he feel, loved/respected?
Remind yourself often that you’ve been entrusted with something beautiful, something sacred, and then communicate to her/him that you know it . . . and that it matters to you.
“Hey Babe, I’ve just been thinking of what an amazing gift from God you are to me.”
A message is being sent to the culture through the marriages of Christians. Unfortunately, it is all too often bad news. But, you and I can choose, right now, for this day and those that follow.
Do you want to be a positive part of the message God is sending to the culture through Christian marriage? Then be committed to transforming your marriage with simple acts of love through all the normal days of your life together.
~Matthew
FAITHFUL MAN® 